PoetryByte – I Wanted a Full Dose of Never-Mind of Not Ever
by Emily Perez
Hello, I’m Juan J. Morales, an assistant professor of English at Colorado College and a poet in Pueblo, Colorado, here for Poets on the Plains. Today I’m pleased to share with you a poem by Denver poet, Emily Pérez, titled I Wanted a Full Dose of Never-Mind of Not Ever.
A lot of times when we look at poetry, we gaze upon and seek wants, longings, and desires. They can be romantic, familial, or physical; however, this poem takes us into a different direction. It highlights those moments when we want to be left alone. It yearns for a quiet place to regroup and recharge in those hectic and overbearing times. These stressors can be in our work or home life, or they can be the collective anxieties of the turmoil, divisiveness, and conflict we are witnessing in the world. Pérez’s poem first appeared in the award-winning poetry collection, What Flies Want, which delves into uncertainties, such as political polarization, the fears that come with raising boys, constructions of gender, and power dynamics that challenge us in our domestic spaces. Specific to this poem, Pérez gifts us with 13 lines that take overwhelming emotions and request a timeout when too many things go wrong simultaneously. It beautifully plays with imbalance, syntax, and enjambment to keep us on our toes in this surprising request for reprieve and a list of no’s.
I love how Emily also strategically plays with pacing, including how the title flows directly into the first line, dashes and all, giving way to metaphors that lay heavy with interruption and interjection. It also has some playful tongue twisting elements. The narrator wants her voice to be heard within the undercurrent of turmoil and fatigue, affirming the need to disconnect, a very relatable sentiment for all of us readers.
I Wanted a Full Dose of Never-Mind of Not-Ever-
will-I never-again not now and not endeavoring to
please turn your gaze to another thing less
alarming, I did not want unsettling, the pit in the grip
of the stomach’s clenched fist, the wrench in the works
of the mason’s bricks laid like a table set but the guest
not arriving, driving out into the rain
to call the lost dog we’ve known only weeks he wrecks
our sleep with responsibility, I wanted no last will
and wishes, no testament unturned, unearned. I wanted soothe
and settle, no nettle in the pudding, no pull in the stocking
no pecking pullet waiting for the axe to fall. I wanted full
and saturated, un-curious, abated, tucked and trimmed,
no hem unsightly, no nightly news, no wedge issue, no ledge.
I Wanted a Full Dose of Never-Mind of Not Ever
Used with Permission.
Thank you for joining us for Poets on the Plains. I’m Juan J. Morales, coming to you from Pueblo, Colorado.
POETS ON THE PLAINS HOST
Juan J. Morales is the son of an Ecuadorian mother and Puerto Rican father and grew up in Colorado. He is the author of four poetry collections, including The Handyman’s Guide to End Times and his latest, Dream of the Bird Tattoo, published by the University of New Mexico Press. Recent poems have appeared in The Laurel Review, Breakbeats Vol. 4 LatiNEXT, Acentos Review, terrain.org, South Dakota Review, Sugar House Review, and Poetry. Morales has received fellowships from CantoMundo, Macondo, Longleaf Writers Conference, and he has served as the editor/publisher of Pilgrimage Press. He lives in Pueblo, Colorado and is an Assistant Professor of English at Colorado College. https://www.unmpress.com/9780826367587/dream-of-the-bird-tattoo/
FEATURED POET
Emily Pérez is the author of What Flies Want, winner of the Iowa Prize (University of Iowa Press, May 2022) and a finalist for a Colorado Book Award. With Nancy Reddy she edited The Long Devotion: Poets Writing Motherhood (UGA, 2022), also a finalist for a Colorado Book Award. Her other books and chapbooks include House of Sugar, House of Stone (Center for Literary Publishing, 2016), Made and Unmade (Madhouse Press, 2019) and Backyard Migration Route (Finishing Line Press, 2011). She graduated with honors from Stanford University and earned an MFA at the University of Houston, where she served as a poetry editor for Gulf Coast and taught with Writers in the Schools. A CantoMundo fellow and Ledbury Critic, she has received grants and scholarships from Hedgebrook, the Community of Writers, the Washington State Artist Trust, Jack Straw Writers, Bread Loaf Writers’ Workshop, Summer Literary Seminars, and Inprint, Houston. Her poems and reviews have appeared in journals including Copper Nickel, Fairy Tale Review, Prairie Schooner, Poetry, Diode, RHINO, The Guardian, LARB, The Georgia Review, and DIAGRAM. She is a high school teacher and grade level dean in Denver where she lives with her family. https://emilyperez.org/
