Leslie Rodriguez picks up her four-month-old son, Adriel, out of his bouncer in the nursery at First Presbyterian Church of Dallas' Day School. He had a fever earlier in the day, so she wanted to check on him.
After a quick squeeze, Rodriguez heads back to her own classroom, where she teaches one-year-olds.
For now, the school is allowing Rodriguez to bring her baby to work for free while she waits to find out whether she'll qualify for federal childcare assistance.
"I was already thinking, 'Oh, I'm gonna lose my job. I don't think they're going to understand. I'm already asking for too much,'" Rodriguez said, describing the pressure she felt after asking for additional time following maternity leave. "They need me here too."
Rodriguez applied months ago for help paying for childcare. Her son is among more than 190,000 children on Texas' statewide waiting list for assistance, according to data from the Texas Workforce Commission, which oversees the federal childcare subsidy program.
In an email, the commission said the number of families served depends on available state and federal funding, and when demand exceeds those dollars, families are placed on waiting lists. The agency did not respond to specific questions.
As a childcare worker, Rodriguez is supposed to receive priority for assistance under state law. Texas lawmakers created the change in the last legislative session because providers said it was difficult to keep workers because of low wages and high turnover rates.
But even with priority, Rodriguez could face another problem. If she qualifies for assistance, the government payment may still not cover the full cost of her son's care.
Tuition at First Presbyterian for infants is $1,700 a month. Rodriguez estimates government assistance would cover, at most, about $1,000. That would leave her to find another $700 every month.
Together, she and her partner make about $85,000 a year, and they are trying to buy a house. She's not sure what they can afford, and that uncertainty has left Rodriguez worried.
"Right now they're letting me do this," she said. "But … what if I can't afford it and I'm obligated to be like, 'Well, I have to stay back for him,' because if I don't, who else?"
A subsidy gap
Rodriguez isn't the only one struggling with that math. Childcare providers are, too.
Tori Mannes, president and CEO of ChildCareGroup, which administers the childcare assistance program in Dallas County, said government reimbursement rates often fall short of what it costs to provide quality care.
For example, Mannes said quality infant care can cost a provider about $400 a week, while even the highest-quality providers may receive only about $275 a week through the subsidy program — a gap of roughly $125 per child, per week.
"And where do providers make that up?" Mannes said. "They make it up with low salaries for their workers. There has to be some give."
Sometimes, she said, providers make another choice: They limit the number of children receiving government assistance they enroll.
Data from the Texas Workforce Commission's Strategic Plan shows only about half of the state's childcare providers participate in the subsidy program. And for the majority of those providers, TWC data shows children receiving assistance make up less than 20% of the program's licensed capacity.
That creates another barrier for families. Receiving assistance does not necessarily mean a parent will be able to find a provider that can afford to accept it.
Mannes said providers that rely more heavily on families paying full tuition have more flexibility to raise rates as operating expenses – like food and salaries -- increase. Providers serving large numbers of lower-income families have less room to pass those costs along.
"That's the reason we are seeing a lot of providers who are really at the tipping point," Mannes said. "They are having to make hard decisions on whether they can stay in business."
'We literally make no money'
At First Presbyterian Church of Dallas' Day School, director Cynthia Grady has been trying to make those numbers work.
The school can serve as many as 178 children and has made serving families receiving childcare assistance part of its mission.
But Grady said the financial gap has become increasingly difficult to absorb.
During one recent three-month period, Grady said the school received about $43,000 less for 21 subsidized children than it would have received if those seats had been filled by families paying full tuition.
"We literally make no money," Grady said. "I'm gonna be honest with you. There is no income in this. When we say nonprofit, we're literally a nonprofit."
The school has historically tried to reserve a significant share of its enrollment for families receiving assistance. Grady said it has had to reduce that goal from about 40% of enrollment to roughly 25%.
That is a difficult tradeoff for a program whose mission, she said, is to bring children from different backgrounds together.
"Every child, I don't care where you come from, opportunity should not be limited because of your income," Grady said.
Grady said First Presbyterian also pays teachers more than many childcare centers in Texas and provides benefits because retaining experienced educators is important. But higher salaries and smaller classes cost money.
When reimbursement doesn't keep pace with those costs, Grady said, something eventually has to give. And those decisions impact parents like Leslie Rodriguez — who have fewer choices for childcare.
Back in the classroom, Rodriguez spends her days caring for other families' babies while trying to figure out how she will pay someone to care for her own.
As she blows bubbles for a group of one-year-olds, she hopes that one day her own little boy will be here, too.
"It's like, well, I'm working with kids, but now that I have a kid," Rodriguez said, "am I gonna be left alone?"
Sujata Dand is KERA's early childhood education reporter. Got a tip? Email her at sdand@kera.org.
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